Fibromyalgia and me

Another rando from me. Lol

I don’t talk about it much but I have fibromyalgia but fibromyalgia don’t have me.

When I was about 30 years old and about 8 months into my Masters degree program, my body started feeling like an old lady.

I had just started a new job a week before classes started for my MBA so this was really stressing me.

At first, my knees hurt so bad that I thought it was just an old issue that came back to hunt me but the more I did to counteract the pain, since I had felt it before, the more I hurt. The worse the pain got.

I went to see my Primary Care Physician and he referred me out.

By the time I got to this doctor, I could barely get out of the bed in the morning.

If seated, it was hard to get up out of the chair.

Every part of my body was working against me.

First the doctor thought that I had rheumatoid arthritis and since the symptoms minus one…swelling wasn’t there, he dismissed me.

I felt like it was all in my head.

This doctor had no clue so it must just be me.

Until I was telling my friend Darlene (hi bff….hope you read this) and she said go see my rheumatologist, you would love her. She won’t dismiss you so off I go back to my PCP who insist I go back to his homeboy who could care less about me but to me, I felt my PCP was convinced it was all in my head too.

I told him that doctor dismissed me and I wanted a referral to Dr Summers (thank God I don’t need referrals with my new health insurance…its a pain) and I wanted it now so by the time I get to Dr Summers, she has no clue the first time around either.

She is convinced it is rheumatoid arthritis but the test came back negative but they sometimes do and yet….I still had no swelling so she told me to come back in a month.

By this time, I was in so much pain that I had to take my entire MBA online so that I could do everything from home, but it was not really helpful, since most days, I couldn’t even stand to touch the keys on the computer at home or work.

I had started calling in at my new job because some days if I made it out of the bed and manage to make it to the bathroom, with every step hurting, when I made it and touched my toothbrush, pain would should from my fingers all the way down my arm and immediately the toothbrush would drop out my hand like a bolt of electricity had just struck me and immobilized me.

My husband at the time (we are divorced) would have to bathe me because I couldn’t even bend my own arms to do it myself nor could I touch the wash cloth to do it.

I couldn’t even put clothes on my body since it hurt for the clothes to brush against my skin.

I was in bad shape but after 6 months and by the second appt, Dr Summers did a touch test since now it was no longer just in my joints but my muscles too.

By physically touching points on my body with just a slight press and 11 or more points cause pain then that was how I received a diagnosis of fibromyalgia.

The extreme periodic episodes of pain is called a fibro flare.

This is worse than the fibromyalgia pain itself.

A round of steroids and pain meds – orally and injectable would be my life.

About 7 or more pills just to keep me mobile.

I had to go back to an automatic car instead of a stick shift.

I work in Finance so my job was stressful but lowering stress as well as other things were a must but I couldn’t. I had a lot to do so the flare ups were frequent with very little break in between because I had too much going on.

I started forgetting a lot of things (fibro fog)

I started sleeping less but was tired more (insomnia and Chronic fatigue syndrome)

Depression came.

I had too much to do.

I was still young and now my life stopped like I was an old lady.

The suicidal thoughts plagued me daily.

I wanted out of this pain.

I wanted my life back.

I gained weight and more weight which didn’t help at all.

Depression pill was added to my pill regimen.

I had to find a middle ground.

Once I finished school, I started working out as much as possible. More like 5 minute intervals (fibro workout) with a personal trainer and trying to lose some weight and get more mobile.

Get my stress under control (Yeah right)

If you are emotionally spent or stressed then your body will feel it too.

I studied my ailment because educating yourself on something is the best way to conquer it.

Eventually, I had less flares and a period of 3 years of no fibro symptoms.

I was not cured but I felt cured.

I wrote about it on the fibromyalgia online support group forum to encourage someone else… I had joined an online support group to be able to talk to someone else who could relate to my ailment because none of my family could.

I remember at one point in my fibro struggle,  I tried to bargain with God.

We can’t bargain with God.

Point blank period.

I tried it.

But fibro hit again after 3 years of nothing and while in a second marriage and it devastated me but with God’s help, I  got myself together.

I had to be driven home from work this time, I was in so much pain.

Luckily my employer didn’t fire me since I could barely get to work most weeks but about 3 days as I was going thru.

I couldn’t even touch my car keys to take myself home that day I had to be driven but God is still good.

I was barely on any meds by this time.

Only one nerve pain med and an antidepressant.

From 7 medications to 2 which is a blessing in my book.

I am currently in fibro remission again.

I have had flare ups but they may last less than half a day to one day at the most and not so extreme so God has brought me a mighty long way.

I haven’t had a fibro flare up for about a year and I am asymptomatic as well.

I am not on any fibro meds.

Meds for something else but not fibromyalgia.

I thank God for that.

So long story short….I  hope this post inspire someone.

You can be a victor over any circumstance or situation in your life.

Trust God and keep the faith.

Be blessed and be a blessing !


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