Happy New Year? by Tisha (finale)

January 18, 2017

You will never guess what day it is.

Today is the day that I turned a whopping 41 years old, and my son turned 20 years old.

Today marks 20 years he has been on this earth.

I had my son and second child on my 21st birthday.

I was not at all happy about it, but God knows best.

Today, I will go out to eat at an expensive restaurant that I have never been to with my husband after I get off work.

Today, I went well as far as birthdays go.

My husband surprised me, because I actually thought he had forgot, but he didn’t.

He had actually made reservations and everything.

Today is also the fourth month since I lost my uncle.

My auntie texted me today and informed me of this.

Of course it started the waterworks all over again.

The hurt and pain came rushing back to me all at once.

So today and every 18th of every month will be a reminder of losing my uncle.

I didn’t think I would ever share a marked day with anyone else so special that will bring joy and pain besides my son.

The months will turn into years and so on and so forth.

Maybe not just my uncle or maybe you or someone you know may have a loved one who passed away in 2016 or prior years and every year you live that day over again and then their birthday come around or mother’s day or father’s day and then the holidays.

It is a vicious endless cycle, but we have to live it, because the alternative to living it is death.

Page Break

What is life but a vicious endless cycle with no end but the end……which we call…death.

We cry out for happiness, but we don’t want the sadness.

How can there be joy without pain?

How can there be life without death?

Our very existence depends on us living and loving and then losing; not just our own life but the lives of others we love.

Every year we will try and try to be happy or move on from loss and hurt, but it will always be a nagging feeling.

It may diminish with time, but it still will be there.

Will you rather feel sorrow and pain or nothing at all?

What is better?

Life or death?

Happy New Year?

You decide.

Page Break

So glad I made it,
I made it through
In spite of the storm and rain, heartache and pain
I’m still alive and I’m declaring
That I made it through
See, I didn’t lose

Experience lost at a major cost
But I never lost faith in you

So if you see me cry,
It’s just a sign that I’m
I’m still alive
I got some scars, but I’m still alive
In spite of calamity,
He still has a plan for me
And it’s working for my good
And it’s building my testimony

[Chorus:]
So glad I made it,
I made it through
In spite of the storm and rain, heartache and pain
I’m still alive to say
I made it through

I didn’t lose
Experienced lost at a major cost,
But I never lost faith in you

I’m so glad I made it
So glad I made it
I made it thru
I made it thru

[Chorus: 5 times]
So glad I made it
So glad I made it
I made it thru
I made it thru
Oohh,

So glad I made it
So glad I made it

I made it thru
Ooohhh, so if you see me cry
It’s just a sign that I’m, I’m still alive
I got some scars, but I’m still alive
In spite of calamity
He still has a plan for me
It’s working out…

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